Finding strength in adversity: My strategy for dealing with pain.
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The art of healing, from heartbreak to empowerment, turning pain into power, a detailed story of resilience and thus my story of resilience, lessons learned, and the journey through these ordeals, how I endeavored to move on, and my strategies in handling these.
My journey of healing wasn’t the smoothest of all processes I’d passed through in life. It had been very hard, painful, and aching.
Especially when the cause of this pain is loss and betrayal from the person I loved and trusted the most. And so I had learned the hardest way to not trust too much or give my all into a relationship I had no guarantee for. Today, I would like to share my personal story of how I found strength in adversity, how I dealt with my pain, regained my stance, and how I transformed my pain into power.
But before I move straight to the highlights I'll be sharing a story of an experience I had with a friend.
So this friend of mine was a popular fan of my write-ups, articles, poems, and every other part and style of writing I indulged in.
Occasionally she would request the captions and links of my new articles and poems to post them on her social media accounts. I did not doubt her kindness and would mostly send my writings to her even before she asked. Unknown to me she has created a new page and social media accounts where she edits my work removing my name and replacing it with hers. This went on for quite a long time until a friend called me to notice that our friend was stealing my work.
She sent her profile name and account details to me and I made the necessary findings about this. I realized she'd stolen nearly all that I worked and toiled for and no wonder why I was still almost at the same point for years. Her new page and account were all doing great with increasing engagements as the days passed by. I was very furious about this and overall I felt hurt. I tried talking to her and as kind as I could sound I expressed my pain, hurt, and disappointments. But instead of feeling sorry and apologizing, she turned it into a bitter argument and spread hateful words about me on her page.
I felt used, hurt, betrayed, and disappointed. I felt so stupid and whatnot. Our other friend talked with a few classmates and fans though I was oblivious to these while it was going on. But she and our other colleagues reported my friend's account and she got banned.
Even then I still didn't know what to feel. Is it the fact that I lost a friend whom I have held so dear in my heart since childhood? Or the fact that this very friend I'd trusted the most betrayed me and hurt me so badly?
We have done almost everything together, ever since we were in kindergarten. She was my best friend!
I tried, God knows how much I tried to end the brawl and let peace reign but she just didn't want that. Was I too stupid or vulnerable to forgive her so soon or I've always been the one to blame since the start for not seeing beyond her fake facade and sniffing the devilish schemes? Well, she made me realize how much she hates me and wants everything I have. How she made me lose the national essay competition by scribbling a few lines of jargon and rubbish in the letter we were to submit, and many other things that I won't have the opportunity to say here.
Thus, being hurt or betrayed is inevitable and we will all be faced with such an experience because at last, this is life! Life won't stop teaching even if we are too tired of learning. And what we do with these experiences is what sets us apart.
But during these painful ordeals, how can we strive to thrive and overcome what seems to be insurmountable?
This is why I'm here to put you through and give you golden strategies that are tested and hotly selling in the world of thrivers.
Below are five golden strategies to reflect on:
1. Acceptance: It has happened! The whole deeds have been done and so you have to brace up your mind and accept that. Even if it'll take you forever, be sure to have accepted the truth and the realities because if you find it hard to accept, it will be very hard to move on. Denial or avoidance will only prolong the pain. When I learned to accept, I felt lighter and was able to process my emotions and move forward.
2. Self-reflection: After accepting that the whole thing has occurred, I take the time to reflect on what has occurred. I ask myself, "Why did this happen, and what can I learn from it?" This helps me gain understanding and insight into the situation and allows me to grow from the experience. By doing this, I was able to move further and gain clarity on some of the questions floating in my mind.
3. Forgiveness: No matter how painful an act of betrayal toward one may seem, forgiveness is a necessary criterion. I had to learn to forgive. And the fact that I forgave doesn't imply that I forgot, or condoned such an act but for the sake of my mental health, and well-being, I knew better than to hold in a grudge in my mind, thus the necessary need to forgive. This allows me to release any anger or resentment I may have been holding within.
4. Support: During the process of recovering from pain or any ordeal in life, God, family, friends, or a very understanding and well-trusted confidant are the ones you can seek solace in. Pray more, and be dutiful to every act of worship you can partake in if you’re a believer. Move closer to your family and spend more time with them. Or simply chat and talk with your friends or trusted confidant. These have been tested and records show that they can be very therapeutic and helpful.
5- Self-care: Lastly, I make sure to take care of myself emotionally, mentally, and physically.
Engaging in activities that bring me joy and comfort, such as yoga, reading, or journaling, helps me to release stress and maintain my overall well-being. During this period I make sure I do the things I love doing most even if I'm not the best at it. I try doing things that make me happy and content without hurting anyone in the process. It could simply be writing poems, helping others out, shopping with my siblings, going on outings or short vacations, anything! Anything that can make you feel good and I also make sure to inculcate the habits of self-gratitude and thus jot down the things I'm grateful for in life.
In conclusion,
dealing with betrayals and pain is not easy, but it's not impossible either. The key is to recognize that it's okay to feel hurt and to take the necessary steps to heal and move forward. Acceptance, self-reflection, forgiveness, support, and self-care are five crucial strategies that have helped me deal with betrayal and pain in the past and continue to guide me as I navigate life's ups and downs.
